Hey guys (25M) i want to vent about something. I constantly feel like i’m either the problem or there is just something wrong w me. my main reason for feeling this way is when it’s come to women in my life. i have a lot of friends women and men in my life and i’m blessed to know the people i know but when it comes to things such as dating or romantically involving myself w women it’s a completely different story.
I’m still a virgin by choice (i don’t actively look to be sexually active or have sex with any or everyone to get a nut off that’s not how i choose to live my life) i think i have great qualities and i don’t feel like i’m that ugly (except on weekends lmao) but idk sometimes i feel off.
every time i get involved w texting a woman it never goes anywhere. i either get ghosted or if we do text and talk for a bit or even awhile i always get dubbed as far as trying to hang out with them or take them on a date or anything of the sort. i don’t look for relationships either although yeah i’d love to be in one i think love is a beautiful thing or at least the actions and process of “falling” is really dope.
I recently tried to get involved w a girl off Instagram who is a few years younger than me and she ended up being the first date i ever went on. we have the same birthday, we have things in common, she’s a beautiful and amazing soul and i really liked (still do) her a lot. we became close friends and she told me off the jump she wasn’t looking for a relationship and that was totally fine with me i dont ever want to rush or make something feel like they have to do something that they don’t want to do. it’s been many months and we always hang out, we workout together, activities together, you name it. i would show her how much she means to me as a friend and potential lover by just being myself and being thoughtful and getting her things she likes (nothing crazy i just want to show her i care about her). I even write notes under her contact in my phone about the things she likes, how she is etc, so i can be more conscious and aware of just making her happy and surprising her with what i can without being overbearing.
she recently told me when we were hanging out one day that she doesn’t see a future with me and that we aren’t fundamentally compatible which i understand, that’s how she feels and i get it. it just really hurt me tbh. i really really like her and we’re already like really close friends (id like to believe at least) and she was my first date ever. like even if it was a completely platonic date it was like .. i felt i actually had a chance at maybe potentially being w somebody. i’m not saying she is “the one” by any means cause nobody can ever call that out the gate or probably ever until it’s that “time” but i’m just hurt. maybe it’s because it was such a new experience that i managed to get to a level that i haven’t with another woman before that i’m extra hurt about this rn.
I always hear “it’s not you it’s me” but .. maybe it is me ? maybe i’m just incapable of being loved by someone ? i’m very broken about this and just don’t know how to move. i know myself and in time i’ll be good and i’ll heal but the thought in the back of my head will always linger .. am i the problem ?
TLDR - Sorry for the sob story lol 😂
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