How do I stop overthinking the start of a relationship? - ATX News Paper

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Saturday, May 29, 2021

How do I stop overthinking the start of a relationship?

I have noticed that every time I meet someone (especially the first time through a dating up), I feel some sort of an internal pressure to make a decision about this person right away, looking 10 years into the future. I feel like if I go on a second date or start a relationship, it would mean I want a life/marriage with them, so I am terrified of misleading them and usually cut off the person and tell them I am not interested.

I do realize you can't make up your mind about a person from meeting them once, and you never know what life would look like with someone. But I still feel this pressure to run through all the scenarios and make the decision asap whether to commit or move on. I would even cut things off if I don't like someone's last name, because I can't see myself (or my kids) having that name - this is how detailed it gets. I know some of those things are shallow, but I don't know how to trust the process. I am afraid if I start dating someone (especially someone who is serious and looking for marriage/kids soon) I would "waste" their time by changing my mind later down the road.

Does anyone feels the same? This is making me anxious and realize this is probably the reason I am still single.

submitted by /u/uknowitlove
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