I(19f) am seeing a girl(27f) and don't know if my family is going to cause a big issue - ATX News Paper

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Friday, May 28, 2021

I(19f) am seeing a girl(27f) and don't know if my family is going to cause a big issue

I have been seeing this girl for two months now and it's been going great. We like the same things, our brains seem to function similarly, we both are looking for and actively trying to be in a healthy relationship, and the communication is great. Overall I really like her but the first problem has popped up. For context my family are extremely dysfunctional, conservative-christian, kind of people and I am still living with them and have come out to everyone except for my parents. Even though I don't agree with them on most everything, I still love them and plan on having them be a part of my life. When I am on phone calls with her and she hears my family in the background she will make small sarcastic comments. I was telling her about an extreme opinion that my mother holds and even though I have voiced that I don't agree with the opinion before and after, the girl I'm talking to started getting weird and was talking like if I agreed with my mom that she would stop talking to me. She says that she doesn't care what my family thinks and it only matters what I think, but I fear that my family might be causing an issue here. She said she thinks that my opinions are being hindered by me living with my family and she thinks I will start being able to think for myself more when I move out, which is true to an extent but I am already thinking for myself and have wildly different opinions than my family. They way that she is talking makes me thinks that she thinks i am just telling her things to please her instead of just being honest. I am worried that maybe she doesn't actually like how I think now and that maybe she is holding out for who she thinks I will be once I move out. I know that my family will just in general cause an issue for me in my dating life but idk if this issue is one that might be too much. I need my partner to be able to understand that my opinions do not align with my family's and I will not be supporting my familys bad opinions over my partner but being mean to my family, unprovoked, is unacceptable. I get maybe making fun of their opinions but not them, and idk if this is an issue to work past or if I should just call it quits now.

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