Hi. I've (24M) been in a relationship with my gf (24F) for two years. As I've overcome some really dark times myself (depression and anxiety) around 5 years ago, I've since then developed an easy-going and rather positive and optimistic approach to life (greatly thanks to nofap, reading and exercise).
So, I fell for this girl based on appearances, as usual, and rushed into the relationship with butterflies doing loops in my stomach. The first several months were amazing - although we don't have the absolute best emotional connection possible, it's still pretty good and the sexual attraction was very strong. I care a lot for her, but I'm not sure if I actually love her..
And this idea really started to form when we moved in together, about one year ago. After that, I slowly started to realise that she is rather pessimistic and oftentimes she complains about really small things (a lot of them being things that she can't control). Also, she doesn't enjoy socialising as much as I do, she doesn't drink and doesn't work out. So we don't have a lot in common. She can be very impulsive and temperamental at times and that often leads to us arguing about random stuff.
The rub is that actually, in the very beginning of our relationship, she warned me that she's a very broken person and has a difficult personality - but I told her that I know exactly what she means because I've experienced similar things myself and therefore, I know that things will definitely get better, if you take action in the right direction. A bit later, I found out that she really changed after an emotional trauma - unfortunately, she lost her parent when she was 16 years old.
So, of course, we've talked a lot about improving her mental health, her hobbies, her social life and lifestyle but it seems like whatever we agree upon (exercising at least once per week; trying to find an interesting hobby; being more physically active; taking initiative to hang out with her friends; calling her GP and asking about psychotherapy or psychological help), she just does not do it. This has been going on for the last several months, at least.
I truly care a lot for her and I want what's best for her but I'm not sure how long I can continue to compromise my own happiness. In addition to that, I'm absolutely sure that she would be completely devasted and very surprised if we were to end our relationship and that would lead her to an even darker state..
What would be the right thing to do? Have you had a similar experience?
Big thanks in advance!
TL;DR My gf knows she needs professional help and needs to improve her life quality but she doesn't take any actual steps towards these goals. I've tried to help and guide her for several months, but nothing gets done. What should I do?
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