20+F asking for opinion on situation involving 20+M.
I've never had a real relationship. I’ve endured 2 decades of intense physical, mental and emotional abuse. Thankfully, the abuse is in the past but trauma is never too far from me. I managed to build a solid relationship with myself despite everything.
I’m Middle Eastern and I’m being courted by a North American white guy.
I’ve been in North America since 2017. There’s been culture shock here and there, but I adapt quickly when it comes to most things. Despite what the post may sound like, I tend to be pretty easy-going. He of course has his own share of traumas, but we’re just not on the same page when it comes to how we view life, etc. He’s not a bad person from what I’ve seen.
He seemed considerate and kind, but he lost his patience with me over something he told himself I did. I finished work late 2 nights ago and needed to smoke. He wanted to call me, but I needed to unwind. I told him, and he agreed to wait. He told me to take my time.
I’m anemic (it affects my focus) and I have ADHD. If you send me a number of texts or a large paragraph, I can’t read every word. I have to at least wait a while before I can do that. He knows about the ADHD and the anemia. I was also incredibly drained from work, which didn’t help.
We texted here and there between but i was cleaning a bong so I could use it. I, again, couldn’t focus. He lost his patience (probably just been an hour) and his wording was aggressive and brought back some trauma. He told me I flaked on him, and after I told him I was too scared to talk to him after that, he apologized and then tried to tell me that what he said wasn’t even a big deal.
He pretty much implied I have ‘special needs’ because I didn’t respond well to him snapping at me. He asked how he should treat someone like me.
It hasn’t even been a month. He’s attractive and we have a lot of sexual chemistry, but he keeps asking me questions that I don’t need to answer. The questions are normally pointless or too personal and the answers won’t make or break anything. Up until that conversation last night, he’s been decent (with odd moments), but it rubbed me the wrong way.
He has given a better apology, but he keeps annoying me. Is it normal to keep getting annoyed this early on? Or am I better off just leaving? I just need to know if this is part of dating someone and it’s okay or if I am right to think about leaving?
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