It’s not often that I reminisce about past flames and boyfriends, but over the last week or so I’ve been having random flashbacks and a dream about this one guy in particular. I can’t help but to shake the feeling he might’ve been thinking about me... it’s an odd feeling to explain. We initially met on a dating site in 2014. He’s in the military, so we met while he was temporarily stationed close to where I live.
We met up a few times, no sex, just talks & walks around the town. I was only 20, now in my late 20’s. So at the time, no drinks at the bar for me.
A couple of things happened:
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he was feeling more handsy & sexual than me at the time (I declined since I was religious and abstinent at the time, so I wasn’t feeling it.)
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our energy & communication was a bit off. I was so conservative that I got annoyed at him one time for sending me a topless photo, to which he actually felt really bad after (I still cringe at this because I felt like I could’ve handled it better 😳)
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At the time, he was definitely more attracted to me than I was him.
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he was transferred and stationed in the Middle East for about a year. From there he came back for a bit, which is when we met again over a year from the first time we met. It was fun, but I was such an awkward person at the time lol. We got along pretty well. We’re both dorky people.
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We remained friendly and were in pretty consistent communication via social media, with patches of silence here and there (I went on to date other men, who were horrible to me, but learned some valuable life lessons.)
This connection on a friendly level lasted for years. We went a bit without any communication (aside from him randomly liking my posts,) then one day in 2017 I get a text via snap chat from this guy after not having communication for a while. He goes on about how he was transferred to Germany, and might stay based there for a few years or so.
He went on to say how he misses me, and would love for me to fly out to Germany (from the USA) to see him eventually, to which I found that cute and would totally be down, but I reminded him how expensive that would be for me and how we only met up a few times over the years (he was being serious in his proposition btw.) not too long after saying that, he found a gf in Germany. I only found out after i realized I had been removed from his Instagram and Snapchat. He never told me lol. This made a me a little sad, but not devastated.
After doing some recent snooping, he’s apparently with this girl still. Part of me feels he’s only with her out of geographic convenience. I also get the sense he’s getting ready to retire soon, which means he’ll be back on American soil. I can’t picture this girl packing up everything she knows and loves in Germany just to be with him. Maybe I’m wrong idk haha.
Aside from the obvious, I honestly can’t remember if anything was said or done (I don’t think there was, but my memory is spotty,) to cause us to officially go our separate ways, but I’m almost feeling a sense of regret with this guy. My communication skills are 1000 times better now then 7 years ago, I’m way more confident and sexual, and freed myself from religious submission. I’m sure he’s changed a lot too.
Part of me wants to be radical and reach out, but I also don’t want to operate from what feels like a masculine energy. And of course the fact he has a Gf where he’s stationed. Aaaand the fact he cut me off.
I guess I’m asking for some feedback/advice on what to do with this, and how to navigate this situation.
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