Hi Reddit - I'm a bit at a loss so I need your help. Title says it pretty well. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months. He's hands down the sweetest, most thoughtful and caring man I've ever been with. I can be myself around him, we work and travel well together, and I can picture being with him for the rest of my life. We respect each other and recognize that each of us has been through a lot in our lives.
Except I loathe when he gets wasted.
Now, it doesn't happen often - maybe a couple times a month maximum. We're both contractors and drinking is part of our lives. He drinks almost every night, but never more than a few beers or a couple cocktails. He handles his alcohol really well over all and I'm thrilled to have found a person who can moderate without me having to babysit them or without them becoming a shit show every night. However! Once in a while, he'll get absolutely tanked, and it becomes almost impossible to be around him. He'll spiral down in this endless circle of negativity and hatred towards a random person or event, and quite literally go off on a rant for HOURS if left unchecked. It's genuinely frustrating because I'm the kind of person who hates talking in circles, to the point that I can't handle being around it. I don't want to be rude, but sometimes I want to shake him and tell him to just stop ruining the mood. When I do mention that he's acting that way, he'll always apologize profusely in the moment, but it always circles back inevitably until I give up and just go to bed.
So how should I handle this next time it happens? I love him, and I know a lot of this has to do with him not having the best outlook on life. He's been screwed over many times, and in the past has had some very unsupportive partners. I want to show him that I'm not mad at him, but at the same time I want to tell him in a kind way that it isn't healthy for him or us to be so damn negative when he gets that drunk.
Thank you for readjng!
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